Fortunate Son
by HaloHunter89
Summary: When you lose someone it can be hard to take the pain that you feel when your heart has to break, the memories you keep are all in your mind as you search your soul for more to find. [One shot. NO ZA. AU.]


**Just a one shot. It's AU as you'll see. There is no ZA happening here. Daryl is twenty eight here while we get take this ride with him. Hope you enjoy it.**

Daryl rode and he rode hard with the sun falling but he needed out. He needed away from the place that he'd called home for most of his life. He knew he didn't have much time but he had enough to ride till he could forget or make things bearable. The deafening sound of the engine all around him and rumbling through his blood he let the bike eat the pavement and lit out without a word.

He didn't need to explain it to Merle, he got it. He was going to do the same damn thing, that was one thing the brothers had in common. Riding calmed then in ways nothing else ever had. But after fighting through hell to come back and watch his father die and then see him lowered into his grave it was fucking bullshit, all of this was. He'd held on long enough for his sons to get there and Daryl couldn't get the image of that forlorn smile of his father's passing through his eyes more than his mouth.

Swallowing hard around the knot building in his throat that was threatening to overwhelm and pull him under. Giving it more gas he felt the vibrations burn through his body as the bike raced away. The pounding pain in his heart raced him trying to drag him back to his hometown, very damn place he'd fought to get away from his entire life. It was trying to drag him down in the grave with his old man and he felt like he was suffocating.

He hadn't had much in his life but he'd always had Will and Merle. Both could be royal bastards at times but in the end they were always there and there was never a time looking back that he could say they hadn't been. They'd pushed him harder every day through the bullshit life decided to pile on him but Will had always done it with a smile. He'd never back down from telling his son when he was wrong and wouldn't hesitate to tell him to man the fuck up and get his shit together.

While his stark words had pissed him off growing up and even through most of his early twenties it was something he had come to depend on from the man. When things had taken a turn for the worst in his youth he didn't let him sulk in it, he wouldn't. He refused to see his son go down that path and he made damn sure to keep his ass in line. He'd even broke Merle of his shit real quick and easy. Both brothers knowing that for all the mans smiles he could be a down right monster when pushed to the point of breaking. He'd seen him lose his temper a few times and each time had been enough for him to know he never wanted his father's wrath aimed at him.

Merle on the other hand had tried to push him when he'd got hooked on shit back in the day. The fucked up thing with Will was you couldn't always trust that smile he gave you. That was the day Merle learned that lesson. Will had walked into his son's apartment and seen the bottles laying on the table with Merle sprawled out on the floor. Daryl had walked in after him and he could remember the second he thought his brother had overdosed finally. It was a fucked up moment and everyone always tells you that shit slows down, well those people are fucking stupid. Not a goddamn thing felt like it slowed down. His heart had slammed into his ribs so hard beating out a bruise against his chest that he thought he was having a heart attack.

Will though he'd bent down jerking Merle up and over his shoulder and stalked down the hall and straight into the bathroom. Merle was dumped in the tub with the cold water turned on him. It took a second but it done the fucking trick that was for sure. Merle had sprung up coughing and sputtering his eyes wild and glazed. Will had jerked him straight out of that tub and into reality.

Merle was took back to Will's and he had him pack up all Merle's shit with clear instructions to get rid of any and all drugs. Even Tylenol. Daryl didn't question him and dumped it all. He wanted his brother off that shit before they had to put him in the ground because some stupid shit and he took a hot dose.

He'd made it back home to see Merle setting on the couch with Will setting in one of the kitchen tables chairs in front of him. The look on his brothers face could have melted hell for all the looks he was throwing around. Will smiled in the face of his anger but Merle being the snarky asshole he was had to run his mouth to their father. Will leaned into him and shook his head his smile changing in and instant, the same instant he slapped Merle hard enough that it stunned both brothers.

After the shit Will said to him that night and the way he watched him Merle had got his shit together and never looked back. It might have also had something to do with the fact that every drug dealer for six counties around them knew the Dixon's and knew that their father would kill the next man caught giving his son any drugs. He didn't know a man stupid enough to cross his father. He wasn't a bad man but he wasn't the type of man to look the other way and let shit slide, if he seen you stepping over the line he was quick to put your ass back across it.

Daryl gave it more gas as he hit the interstate and let the wind pushing and pulling around his body soothe the stinging heat that had eaten him all day. It couldn't help with the devils at his back but he'd take what he could get right now. He shut his mind down just focusing on the passing lines and refusing to think on his father or the loss of him. He could smile though at the memory of Merle getting the shit slapped out of him, rang his fucking bell good.

Daryl's eyes landed on the signs letting him know where he was and he felt tension ebb some with the sixteen miles of open highway that came with US-19 to Thomaston. He'd drove it enough back when he was still around here he should know it damned well enough. He'd run these roads hard back in the day making it harder on his father to catch him when he was up to shit, but shit had a way of catching up with you.

That was one thing that had dimmed over the years after he'd made up his mind on what he was doing. He'd lost that memory of her smile, of her laugh, even her goddamned face seemed to dim more over time. It was false memories probably nothing like she really was but goddamn he clung to them when he found that those nights in those barracks were just about insufferable.

She had been mad at him for his choice of joining the armed forces. She'd been more than mad she'd been downright hurt from his decision and had dropped him without a word saying she was saving herself the heart ache for when he came back and all they had was a flag to remember him by. He hadn't died though and the memory of her kept him from being able to accept any other woman in her place.

Gripping the handle bars tighter feeling the leather of his gloves tighten around his hands as his mind chased those last memories around. He growled forcing the flood of them back not wanting that ache on top of the one he had already. That was one of the things that Will had pushed him with. When he'd gotten around his teens for some goddamn reason that he didn't put much thought into at the time, he'd just said fuck it all. He'd started fighting, skipping school, just anything to get away from that suffocating town for a while. Will had been hot after him over the shit but was just pushing him more wanting to be out of the town. Away from the uppity cock suckers who looked down their noses at any and everyone around them.

Dixons. That town liked to talk about them but man if they didn't come running when they needed something. Guess they could thank their mama for that shit though, she hadn't been the most wholesome of women. Will had gave him some shit about the heart wants what the heart wants when he'd think back on that woman. He always told him he knew things were fucked but when it came to your heart and mind dueling well things changed.

That woman had been nothing but trouble. She had been a downright piece of shit to her husband and a raging bitch to her sons. She was careful though, she was smart enough to never talk shit in front of Will to him and Merle. By the time shit caught up with her the seeds were sewn for him and Merle was pulling away trying to escape just like him. He'd never went into detail with Will about the shit that woman put them through or said, there was no point in putting that burden on him too.

Kathryn Dixon had been a washed out piece of shit and whore when all things were said and done. She had set her sights on their father and had taken him for a ride over the years. There wasn't a person around that could convince Daryl that she actually ever loved Will. God himself could bring his ass down right then and said she did and he'd look him right in the eye and tell him he was a fucking liar. You had to have a heart to love someone and that woman was absent one.

It was her though that soothed that restless soul in him and calmed him. He met her by chance and he'd never been more thankful for someone spilling hot coffee down the front of his jeans. She had panicked that morning and grabbed up napkins covering his lap and trying to clean him up before she even realized what she was doing. She had paused with her hands on his groin and looked up through those thick lashes locking eyes with him her face flushed. She had apologized but he'd take the burn any day to see those eyes again and that flush come over her skin.

It had been a whirlwind after that. He wasn't so worried about that godforsaken town while she was around. He wasn't worried about the bullshit of the people in town and the pricks in school talking shit about his mother and his family like they had any idea what they were actually talking about. No, it had been her to get his ass to calm down and get his shit together. Will loved her for it and Merle called him a pussy for it.

That first few months in basic training and first year over seas had been the roughest on him. The physical aspects of it hadn't been that bad, he got use to it really damn quick and came to appreciate the routine that came with it. He still heard from Merle, still heard from his father. But her? No. She had vanished on him leaving him feeling bereft. Will always told him he'd made a mistake letting her get away. But how do you keep something with you that refuses to be kept? You couldn't. Will though kept up with her and always made sure things were good for her, he was grateful for that even if she was done with him.

Turning into the town of Thomaston he geared down and let the rumble of the bike eat away the thoughts of his father and her. Easing the bike through the familiar streets he smiled pulling up on the fringes on the opposite side of town in grace district. It was just under the old train tracks, he'd ended up here more often than not back in his teens when he was trying to get the fuck away from everything.

He'd been running from his father even though the man done nothing but ever try to be there for them. He'd busted his ass day in and day out in that garage making sure his sons wanted for nothing. But this is where he'd run to when he needed to breathe without that town and it's devils on his back. Climbing off the bike he walked the short gravelled path down the hill and shook his head seeing the same fucking stump he'd drug up there all those years ago setting there.

Walking down he set there his eyes out over the water, the lapping of the water the only sound around. Even the night was silent with his pain and anguish. Focusing on the pain it was the only thing that's real at the moment. Swallowing again he clenched his fist his elbows setting on his knees as he let his memories of his father flash before his eyes over the water.

He remembered everything. And everything fucking hurt now that the old man finally made his peace with this world and moved on. Feeling that same knot form in his throat he let it build knowing what was coming. He couldn't out run those devils forever. He was full of broken thoughts and memories that he couldn't repair and they'd never be whole so long as his father was missing to share them with. Everyone he knew goes away in the end. He'd seen his fair share of brothers fall while deployed, but nothing was like this. He'd take a fire fight over this.

Will's last words to him had been something every son seeks from his father. But he found it hard to find comfort in his father's loving praise as he lay there dying before his eyes. Maybe in time when the wound wasn't so fresh things would be different but how do you know when something is going to scab over and begin to heal. How do you know something isn't going to come along the next day with a fresh wave of sorrow and rip that healing scab right open making things seem fresher and ever-present.

Daryl had taken three connecting flights to get to that hospital. He hadn't even changed out of his BDUs, he'd showed up smelling like the desert, his hair windswept, his face covered in scruff and his boots coated in sand. Will had just smiled at him telling him he needed a damned haircut and shave. Merle had laughed and Daryl had dropped onto the chair beside his father's bed. Seeing Will hooked to so many machines was fucking with his head and he couldn't hold still. Will still had that smile on his face but Daryl wasn't able to focus on it. All he could see is what time had done to a man that he had seen as insurmountable, it had taken his youth, his health, and now his life.

Merle talked non stop and Daryl set watching them bull shit back and forth. They were going on as if the man wasn't laying there dying but it was just how Merle went about shit. It was Merle's coping mechanism just like brooding silence and pulling away was his own. Will turned those Dixon blue eyes on him with a knowing look and Merle had slipped from the room.

Will had held onto his hand talking to him in that rough timbre his chest rattling telling him to keep his head held high. Will had made sure that Daryl understood how proud he was of him and like always still pushing him. Giving him that last dose of fatherly scolding and advice wrapped all up in one good slap. He just smirked at him and Will had smiled his face turning serious. He mad him promise that him and Merle would always stay close and not let things come between them. He had grabbed his chin jerking his head around to face him when he had looked off not able to watch the sorrow in his father eyes. He forced him to meet that sorrow head on and promise him that they'd be there for each other.

When Daryl nodded his agreement Will had released him and set back again coughing. He looked to where Merle had set and then back at him with worry in his brow. He'd made sure that Daryl would keep Merle's ass on track, not let him slip and fall into old habits when shit got to much. Make his ass walk the line. Most of all he'd apologized for things that he had no control over. He apologized for their mother, he apologized for so much that Daryl had to tell him to stop. His father's only real request for him was to not put himself in a prison walking through the world alone and to let someone love him before it was too late. He set there those Dixon blue eyes piercing straight through him and cutting to the heart of it.

"Son. Take your time... don't live too fast. Troubles will come and they will pass." His voice rattled roughly through his chest as he coughed, "All I want for you Daryl is to be satisfied and happy."

Daryl closed his eyes feeling the torrent of emotion eating away at him like it had been all day. Him and Merle had set in that funeral home both unable to look away from the their father's coffin. He wasn't even sure who all had shown up and hadn't even looked. Their was a non stop line of well wishers for the pair of them but his eyes had remained glued to that casket like this was some prank and at any second Will was going to spring up with that same goddamn smile on his face. Grief and loss had a funny way about making you have hope that it was all a dream. It had a cruel way of showing you that hope was downright fucking pointless and nothing more than guaranteed heartache.

It had only gotten worse from their as they carried him to his grave and the Honor Guard stood by. The playing of Taps was something he was accustomed to now that he was in the military but it didn't make it any better. The melody washing through the open part of his soul that was laid bare with his father as he was lowered into the ground. After all was said and done and the American Flag was handed over to him and Merle with condolences from the Honor Guard him and Merle had stood there.

Daryl wasn't sure how long he stood there but seeing the men walk up with shovels had been like a switch. He stepped forward snatching one of them and dove in on covering his father's grave. It didn't take but a minute for him and Merle to both be heavy into to it and the men stood back in case either of them wanted a break. But neither of them ever stopped making sure to do this last thing for the man that they called father.

Walking from that graveyard towards the waiting vehicle's they kept their heads up. Merle had clapped him on the shoulder handing off the flag to Stacey as she stood waiting on him tears streaming down her face. She had hugged him when she seen him standing there her small frame wrapping around him. He stood there with her talking at him telling him he should stay with them and prattling on. He wasn't really focusing on what she was saying but nodded along with her regardless, he wasn't sure what to say to anyone. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want condolences. He just wanted to be left alone.

Merle stood back meeting his eyes over her head. Merle got it and he knew he was taking off. He knew he didn't have long to get this out of his system but he had too. But when he had changed after the funeral he had rode along side Merle to the cut off to the interstate or old Newman road, they parted ways. The both of them pushing themselves and the pain from their chests.

Letting his eyes focus back on the water he realized it had turned from blue to black mirroring the night sky. He'd set out here for a couple of hours at the least and hadn't even realized it. Pulling his cigarettes out he lit one and laid back on the grass blowing smoke rings in the dark watching the backdrop of stars light it up.

The sound of crunching gravel had his head turning to see who was walking his direction. Not seeing anyone he just turned his head back looking at the sky and the constellations above him, a place where time stood still. Hopefully whoever it was wouldn't see him laying back in the grass and would keep going.

"Dixon."

Daryl closed his eyes holding his breath letting that southern honey accent coat the bitterness inside him. Feeling the heat from her body as she set down beside him he didn't open his eyes not trusting that he wasn't hallucinating.

"I know you're awake Daryl. You're blowing smoke." Her voice was soft and low.

Flicking his eyes open he kept them above him, "What're you doing out here?"

"I was there today." The sadness in her voice had him looking at her.

She was looking towards the water her curly hair spilling down her back longer than he remembered but it had been a few years. Committing her to memory with the soft glow of the moon on her he set up his elbows setting on his bent knees and he flipped his cigarette away.

"Didn't see you." His voice was rough from disuse.

She turned her eyes on to him, "I don't think you were seeing anyone Daryl."

He nodded knowing it was true. He just knew for sure Merle had been there and Stacey, everything else had fallen by the wayside. He hadn't the heart to focus on that and try to keep his anger and pain bottled.

"You know me and him still talked after you deployed." There was a smile in her voice. "I was so mad at you. I..I could have strangled you, I put thought into it." She gave a light laugh shaking her head, "Will told me I was a bull-headed pain in the ass."

Daryl smiled, he could see Will doing just that. Chewing his lip he kept quiet but let her presence do what it was always able to do for him and soothe that part of him that was always restless and wild. Feeling like he could breathe easier he finally looked at her and seen the something flicker in the depths of her eyes.

"He actually told me I was so full of shit he could plant me in the ground and grow another just like me." She shook her head her curls spilling more around her face framing it, "Thing I always loved about him was he didn't pull no punches."

"Wouldn't have been him if he went easy on someone." Daryl huffed, "Man didn't know what it meant to give someone a fuckin' break."

She slapped his thigh, "Remember being trapped with him when he'd get to singing?"

Daryl grimaced but couldn't help the smile that split his face, "Fuckin' Lynyrd Skynrd Simple Man. Every goddamn time that shit came on he'd belt it out like his life depended on it always trying to get you to join in."

She laughed nodding her head, "The more you refused the louder he always got."

Daryl chuckled and let her toss up memories that were washing away the images of him in the hospital bed. It wouldn't last forever but with her setting there those wings weren't beating so hard at his back and he was able to set back and just breathe. He knew what she was doing and let her. He let her pull him from his grief and focus on other stuff. She had done the same thing with his anger when he was younger. He'd been listening to her talk for what seemed like the better part of an hour and it felt so much like all the times before that it was making him fidget and shift with tension.

"You know he...he always kept me updated on your postings. On how you were. When you were in that attack that killed two of the men in your battalion and all they had done was notify your family that you were in an attack. I set with him for those three days waiting on news if you were alive or dead."

Daryl looked at her studying her, "He never told me that."

"He wouldn't have after the way things parted between us." Her voice held regret. "I was wrong for the things I said to you and I want to apologize Daryl."

Setting back and leaning on his hands he let his legs stretch out in front of him with a groan. "Aint got shit to apologize to me for. You had the right to say how you felt."

She spun looking at him her face and eyes blazing, "I mean what I said Daryl Dixon." Her voice was adopting a stronger twang that signaled that her emotions were getting thicker. Daryl opened his mouth to talk and her finger pressed against his lips silencing him, "When I said that I love you, I meant that I love you forever!"

Daryl's eyes locked with hers and he opened his mouth but it snapped back closed. He wanted to yell at her for the shit she had said to him. For the way she had pushed him away and refused to talk to him. Every letter he sent her returned, every call ignored. As if reading his mind she set up on her knees facing him fully and he seen the shining of the tears that had escaped and her eyes held the moon.

"There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret those words I spoke out of anger to you. But even more than that I regret holding on to that anger and letting it fester." She hiccuped through a breath and her hand grabbed ahold of his. Her much smaller hand laced through with his war worn hands and he let the warmth from her hand seep into his body.

"It took you ten years to get that shit figured out?" He knew his voice held anger and the gruff twang caused her hand to tighten down on his as if she thought he was going to leave. Truth be told he'd gotten good at walking away and not facing shit after her.

She moved closer to him, "You've took every possible deployment they offered and you were stationed overseas. You were hardly on U.S. soil Daryl how was I supposed to talk to you? Will never knew when you'd get to come in so I never knew when you'd be here. I wanted to talk to you in person to say this stuff, I didn't want to send a letter or call. _I_ needed to tell you." She pushed his chest, "You never tried to see me though."

Daryl set forward her hand on his chest searing his flesh, "I remember you distinctly telling me to never speak, look, or think about you again. I done what you asked when you made sure I thought you hated me."

Her hand flexed over his chest and he looked down watching her fingers, "I must have been more convincing than I felt, those words were like tearing my heart out and handing it off to you." She looked off swiping under her eyes and breathing slower, "I haven't seen my heart in ten years Daryl."

She studied his face and he sighed looking out at the water. She knew he was shit with words so if she expected some big grand fucking gesture from him than she was off her rocker. "It's been ten years, you telling me that you're still single? That you aint moved on?"

She shifted till she was between his legs and let her body lean into his, her back laying against his solid chest. It was something that she done so often when they had been together that even now it felt right. Her hands gripped just behind each of his bent knees and she snuggled further into his body as his hands braced him in his leaning position.

"I'm telling you that no man has ever came close to you." Her soft voice washed through his mind.

The sweet smell of cherries wafted off her and he couldn't help the smirk that graced his face despite his mood. Somethings never changed and he didn't think he'd ever forget that smell, forget her.

She turned her head looking up at him, "Are you going to say anything? Tell me to fuck off? Tell me to stay? Tell me something?"

Daryl looked down at her and the prospect of her walking away from him again caused a new spear of pain to hit him. He didn't think he had the capacity to feel more pain than he already was but just that mere sliver of a thought had done it. Bringing his hand up his thumb slid against her bottom lip and her lips parted her breathing deepening.

Will's words wrapped around his mind like a vine pushing him to say something. He'd always adored her and didn't understand them breaking up, he'd made it clear on more than one occasion. He had even went as far to refer to her as his daughter in law until the end. He could hear his father's deep voice and Merle's goading him each in their own way, both knowing how to get a reaction from him.

Dipping his head he caught her lips just enough to brush his across hers and when he pulled back she chased his mouth. "I'm not good at this shit, you know that."

She smiled up at him, "I happen to remember just how good you are at everything. Don't sale yourself short Dixon." Daryl scowled down at her his face heating up before looking back out at the water. "When do you leave?"

Daryl chewed his lip and shifted dragging her further up his body and settling her fully against him. The warmth and comfort she offered not something he could pass up. "Told me to take the time I need. I was due a break...I skipped the last two."

Her hands captured his arms dragging them around her body as she started talking. She started from the moment he walked out those doors after the break up and carried it forward. Setting his chin on top of her head her curls brushing his throat with each movement of her head as she spoke animatedly, he let his mind follow her through her memories. Her laughter of things he'd missed while gone and memories of Merle and Will shoring up his mind block by block.

"I wish you could have seen it. Merle was flat on his ass and with Will looking down at him shaking his head telling him to get his shit in gear while kicking his boot, nevermind that Merle had just wiped out on the ice." her lilting voice settling in his chest.

Daryl chuckled and shifted a groan rolling through him at the unforgiving ground and the strain on his back. He hadn't slept more than a handful of hours in the past week and it was catching up with him. He'd been going non stop since he had made it back to town and to his father. Setting there with him while he was awake to getting things ready for the funeral, he'd avoided sleep for the most part.

"You need sleep Daryl." She was looking up at him her eyes scolding. She pushed up standing holding her hand out to him, "Come on."

Daryl growled but stood up regardless the thought of finally sleeping sounding like heaven at the moment. Walking towards his bike he cussed under his breath dreading the hour drive back to Senoia.

"Stay with me." Her voice caught him off guard. He raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled at him. "I'm not saying anything has to happen but I don't wanna miss you and you don't need to be alone." Daryl straddled his bike grimacing as the tension in his back and she huffed, "I'll drive Dixon. We can come get your bike tomorrow."

Daryl stood up grunting his only response as he trailed after her towards her car. He let his mind drift on the drive there and she didn't push him to talk and he was thankful for it. Had he went back to Senoia his options were staying at Will's or Merle's, both would guarantee he wouldn't have slept.

Yawning he followed her through the door of her house his eyes landing on her couch instantly and he felt fatigue wash through his body. She shrugged off her jacket and kicked her shoes off looking at him as she done so. Copying her he pulled his leather jacket from his body and let his boots fall away as he watched her walking around her living room.

"You hungry?"

Shaking his head he rolled his shoulders, "No, tired. I think if another person offers me food and brings shit to me eat I'm going to strangle them."

Her laugh bubbled up and she shook her head sweeping her hair over her shoulder, "They mean well Daryl stop being so...so you."

Scowling he dropped down onto the couch and groaned, "Well you deal with a bunch of old ass clucking hens packing god knows how much food into that house expecting you to eat your grief away."

She set down next to him her head on his shoulder, "Well...at least you wont have to cook for a while."

Her soft hum met his ears and he let himself focus on it and felt his face break out into a grin when he realized what she was humming. She was letting her fingers trace over his forearm and let his eyes follow her movements. "Fuckin' simple man, really?"

Daryl felt himself drifting off with each sweep of her nails across his skin. He didn't know what tomorrow held for him or her, but it had to be better than today was. He'd do like Will told him though and he'd keep his head held high and take it on the run. He wasn't going to lay down and let this beat him Will had raised him better than that shit.

Her lips brushed his throat just below his ear and her breath fanned his neck, "I love you Daryl Dixon." That soft honey southern drawl whispered over his skin. She settled against him and he shifted on the couch to where his back was to the arm causing her to fall over his chest as he stretched out. Her hand slid up under his shirt settling over his heart and taking up their soothing motions again trying to lulling him to sleep. The taste of love was sweet and he welcomed it over the bitterness that was saturating him at the moment. Tangling his hand in her dark curls he pulled her in tighter against his body,her face burying in the crook of his neck as he fell off to sleep and letting his demons rest for the night.


End file.
